Thoughts About an Arrival Stoy

As I've mentioned, people want to talk, which is good, but I do sometimes feel overwhelmed "in the moment" as all of the information is coming at me. I may not expect that someone will want to talk while standing outside a birthday party for a neighbor and then I feel a little like I have my guard down, as I don't have my phone, my notes, my questions and I'm just trying to take everything in and remeber as much as I can, because so much of my interviewing is happening spontaneously and that is where I'm getting the best material if I can just sort of remember to shut up and get out of the way of it all. I'm not really good with spontanaity. I'm trying to adjust. It's such a natural reflex to want to be a part of the dialogue, because of course, I have stories like theres, but how much of that should I do? My expectations for interviews with the people I am closest with have gone nothing like I expected and the closer I am to the person, the more I struggle. The people in the league are casual friends, close friends, neighbors and of course my husband. I seem to have great expectations for the people I am closest to. Maybe I thought that because they are so close to me they could understand how important my writing is to me and I could just sort of let myself into their heads, but of course it isn't that easy. Those closest to me have ended up providing some good data, but sometimes it seems almost while they weren't paying attention or didn't realize I was watching, listening. What I have found is the person I have the most distance from is the one who totally lets me into their head, and the closer ones sort put up a bit of protest, say they're gonna tell me everything and almost "put on" maybe what they think I want to hear. Looking at the "put on" stuff compared to the real moments I have been able to steal are fascinating. When I formally "sit down" to interview someone and it is planned, it almost feels like a performance. My husband is a history teacher and when he finally sat down to talk to me it was like he was giving a lecture on fantasy football. I'm not saying that what he said to me was not valuable, it was, and he is qualified to speak on the subject but there is a type of distance created by the formality. In contrast, as I conducted an unplanned interview in my backyard with one of my close girlfriends and her husband(as our kids played) it was the absolute opposite. They seemed to say whatever came into their minds and that interview is one of the best ones I have had so far. Interestinly enough, the husband sometimes spoke over the wife and drowned out what she was trying to say (a whole other topic). So now that people know I'm going to interview them, how do I mimic that casual atmosphere? I'm thinking I avoid "scheduling" when I can and just look for opportunities. With my neighbors, they're there. Just have to have my phone.